"Empathy" is a word you don't often hear in IT, especially in discussions about supplier management. Yet empathy and respect between buyer and supplier are emerging as important ingredients of CIO success.

The CIO of a major aerospace firm, for example, recalls a moment early in his tenure when his CEO suddenly stopped him during a presentation about the company's technology suppliers. Several times the CIO had referred to these suppliers as "vendors," and the CEO didn't like it. "At this company, vendors are companies that fill candy machines," he snapped. "Suppliers are trusted partners, critical to the success of the enterprise."

This CEO captured the tone of the new world of IT supplier management, one where key IT suppliers are no longer held at arm's length or treated as adversaries. They are teammates or, as one midmarket CIO characterizes them, "soul mates on a journey to the same destination."